Iyo uri mu rukundo ukunda ugakundwa ni nk’aho uba uri mu ijuru rito bavuga. Uba wumva ibinezaneza bikuzuye umutima, wumva ukeye noneho bikaba agahebuzo iyo uwo mukundana mubihamirije inshuti n’imiryango mukambikana impeta mukemeranya kubana nk’umugore n’umugabo bashakanye.
Icyakora nyuma y’ukwezi kwa buki utangiye kumenya neza uwo mwakundanye, hari ubwo ibyo byiyumvo byo kwishima bitangira kugabanuka maze ibintu bitangira kugenda nabi mu mubano wanyu ukarwana cyane ngo ubishyire ku murongo nyamara bikanga ukabona uwo mukundana ntacyo bimubwiye ahubwo bijya irudubi.
Akenshi iyo urukundo rwanyu rwakayutse cyangwa rwarangiye, ntuba ushobora kubibona ngo ubyibwire ariko mu gihe umenye ko nta garuriro rihari, umutima wawe urababara, agahinda kakakwica ku buryo hari n’abicuza impamvu bakunze cyangwa se bamenye uwabababaje.
Waritanze wese mu rukundo, umutima n’amarangamutima byawe ubiharira umuntu aragutenguha. Kubera ibyo, ntibyoroshye kuzagira undi ufungurira umutima wawe, birasa n’ibidashoboka.
Icyakora nubwo ari urugendo rutoroshye kongera gukunda mu gihe umutima wawe washavuriye mu rukundo kandi wowe wari warakoze ibishoboka byose ngo rusagambe, birasoboka 100% kongera gukunda ndetse ukishimira cyane umubano wawe n’umukunzi mushya.
Muri iyi nkuru, Rwandamagazine irakugezaho ibintu birindwi wakora kugira ngo wongere wishime igihe ubona ko usa n’aho watakaje imbaraga zose mu rukundo rwawe rwa mbere.
1. Ihe umwanya ubanze ukire ibikomere
Buriya ab’igitsina gore bababariye mu rukundo bagira uburyo butandukanye kandi bwinshi bwo kwikura mu gahinda kurusha abagabo. Hari abashaka kwiyibagiza agahinda bagize bakundana n’umugabo umwe mu gihe abandi bo bumva ko gusohokana no gucudika n’abagabo batagira ingano byabafasha kwibagirwa ubuhemu bagiriwe. Nyamara, inzira iboneye yo kongera gukunda ugakundwa ukabyishimira bisesuye ni ukubanza ugafata igihe ukikunda wowe ubwawe mbere ya byose.
Ntukirukankire mu rukundo rushya u gihe wumva utari witegura bihagije ahubwo ukwiye kwibanda kubanza kugera aho wumva ko ukwiye gutangirira bundi bushya.
Ibi nubikora, ni bwo uzaba wumva witeguye guha urukundo andi mahirwe.
2. Wiheranwa n’amateka ngo agenge ejo hazaza hawe mu rukundo
Ni byo rwose, birasanzwe ndetse birumvikana cyane ko wagira amakenga no gushidikanya mu gihe umugabo cyangwa umugore wumvaga ko muzamarana igihe cyose cy’ubuzima bwanyu musigaje aguhemukiye kandi wari waramwihariye ukamukunda bizira imbereka.
Icyakora na none kudashobora kugira icyizere ngo wumve ko byose bishoboka kandi ko ibyiza biri imbere bizakubuza amahirwe yo kongera kubaho mu mubano usesuye n’undi muntu. Ni ingenzi kujya mu rundi rukundo utabunza imitima kuko si buri mugabo cyangwa umugore waremewe kuguhemukira; abantu bose si bamwe.
Ntugatume ibyakubayeho mu gihe cyahise bikubuza kunezerwa mu bihe bizaza.
3. Igira ku makosa y’ahahise
Rimwe na rimwe mu buzima, hari ubwo biba ngombwa ko unyerera ukagwa kugira ngo wige uko uzahaguruka ugahagarara wemye udahungabanywa n’imiyaga yose. Ibi akenshi ni ko bigenda no mu rukundo.
Tekereza ku masomo wigiye ku mutima wawe umenetse ubundi bigutere icyizere mu rugendo rushya ugana imbere.
Kwigira ku makosa wakoze mbere bizakubashisha kubona no gukundwa urukundo ukwiriye. Ntukemere na rimwe kuguma mu kababaro, ujye uhora ahubwo wibuka ko burya ikitakwishe kigukomeza kurushaho.
4. Igarukire wishime unishimire ko uri wenyine
Mu gihe nta mukunzi w’umwihariko ufite, ntibikwiye kukubuza kwishima. Ukwiye kwishima rwose nubwo nta wawe ufite mwishimana by’umwihariko. Ukuri ni uko n’i Nyagasambu rirema. Niba hari inshuti yawe igutumiye ngo musohokane muganire, ntukiteshe ayo mahirwe. Shaka akanya umarane igihe n’inshuti zawe n’abandi musanzwe muziranye.
Ni igihe cyawe cyo kwishimira ubwisanzure bwawe, ugakora ibyo wumva bisanzwe bikunyura umutima ukishima uko ushoboye. Ibi ntibizatuma wumva gusa wisanzuye ahubwo bizanakurinda ubwigunge bushobora guterwa n’uko nta mukunzi ufite.
5. Boroka (block) umukunzi wawe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga zose mushobora guhuriraho
Kwikomereza no gufungurira undi mukunzi umutima wawe ntibyakorohera akenshi iyo hari aho ufite ugihurira n’uwo mwahoze mukundana akakubabaza n’aho haba ku mbuga nkoranyambaga .
Icyakubaho hano ni ugukomeza kumubona yikomereje n’ubuzima bwe wenda bwiza binyuze mu byo ashyira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga umunota ku wundi mu gihe wowe ukiri mu gahinda katewe n’umubano w’urukundo rwanyu utaragenze neza na gato.
Kuguma kuri Facebook, Instagram cyangwa Snapchat ubona ibyo umukunzi wawe wa kera ashyiraho bishobora kugusubiza inyuma ndetse bikadindiza intambwe wari umaze gutera mu rugendo rw’urukundo rushya.
Kuboroka umukunzi wawe wa kera ku mbuga nkoranyambaga bizatuma utongera kubona ‘posts’ ze zigushengura umutima ndetse bitume nawe ushyira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga ibituma wumva wishimye. Nuhitamo ibyishimo ni byo uzagira kandi nta n’uwo ugomba ibisobanuro ku byishimo byawe.
6. Tangira ushake umukunzi mushya
Aha ni ho hakomerera benshi mu bagore ndetse n’abagabo nyuma yo kubabarira mu rukundo rwa mbere nyamara si ko byakagenze. Nubwo utagomba guhita wirukankira gukunda, na none ni ngombwa kwidagadura ukajya aho abandi bari.
Bigire inshingano yawe guhura n’abandi bantu, gusura ahantu nyaburanga no kwishimira ubuzima binyuze mu gutembera. Uku ni ko uzabona umukunzi mushya.
Tangira buhoro buhoro ndetse nubishaka, mu buryo budakabije, ube ari wowe wishotorera abantu gusa ntukabye, mbese ushabuke ariko wirinda kuba umwasama. Icyo ugomba gukora wowe gusa ni ukwigirira icyizere kandi ukihuza n’uwo ari we wese ntacyo wishisha.
Mu gihe gikwiriye kandi kidatinze, umuntu wawe uzajya kubona ubone araje yinjire mu buzima bwawe cyane cyane igihe utabitekerezaga.
7. Umva ko byose bishoboka, ntute icyizere
Mu gihe nta mukunzi ufite, ukwiriye guha urukundo amahirwe. Ntibyoroshye ariko niba ushaka ko bigenda neza, ukwiye kwirekura niba ushaka kubona uhuza n’umutima wawe. Iyo ugize icyizere ugaha abantu amahirwe, uba wifungurira umuryango w’amahirwe.
Ntukibagirwe ko uri uwo gukundwa kandi ibi bizabe ari byo bigutera imbaraga zo kongera kubona no guhabwa urukundo ukwiriye.
Ni ibisanzwe rwose kumva ushidikanya mu gihe wumva ushaka kongera gukunda mu gihe ibya mbere bitagenze neza nyamara nta cyiza nko kwiyemeza gushira ubwoba ugafata icyemezo kigoye nyamara kizera imbuto nziza z’urukundo.
Ubundi se kwiyemeza kujya mu rukundo si ukwiyemeza gusanga no kwakira amahirwe atagira uko asa?
Umwanzuro
Iteka ujye wita kureba uruhande rwiza rw’ubuzima kandi wigire ku byakubayeho mu gihe cyahise n’ubwo byaba gutandukana n’uwo mwakundanaga.
Nubwo bitoroshye ndetse bisa n’ibidashoboka kongera gukunda ukishima kandi ntako utari waragize mu mubano w’urukundo rwa mbere, nukurikiza inama tukugiriye, bizakorohera kurusha uko ubitekereza.
Bisaba gusa gutera intambwe ya mbere kandi ugafunguka bundi bushya. Nubwo byumvikana nk’ibigoye cyane, nshuti yanjye, nyizera, nawe wabishobora ukongera ukishimira urukundo ugakunda ukanakundwa.
