Abakurikira Tawana Musvaburi kuri Instagram barenga 33,000 bibwira ko bazi byinshi ku buzima bwe ariko benshi ntibazi uko umukunzi we asa.
Hari ibimenyetso bito bigaragaza ko afite umukunzi, nko kubona ifoto igaragaza igice cy’inyuma cy’umutwe cyangwa ibirahure bibiri basangira umuvinyu, ariko Tawana w’imyaka 24 avuga ko nta gahunda afite yo gushyira isura y’umukunzi we ku mbuga nkoranyambaga.
"Ndi umukobwa watojwe" niko Tawana avuga. "Nk’umugore, w’umunyembaraga, wubatse ibintu bye kuri gahunda."
Tawana ni umwe mubakoresha imbuga nkoranyambaga wubatse izina rye bitagendeye ku mukunzi.
"Ntushaka ko hari igice cy’ubuzima cyawe kigaragara nk’icyafashijwe n’umugabo. Biranshimisha cyane kuvuga nti ibi nabigezeho njyewe ubwanjye"
Kandi uko abibona ntibigiye guhinduka vuba n’iyo we n’umukunzi we bafata icyemezo cyo kurushinga, agira ati: "Impeta ubwayo ntabwo bihagije ngo nshyire umubano wacu ku karubanda."
Tawana ni umwe mu bagore benshi batifuza gushyira umubano wabo ku mugaragaro biciye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, kandi abakoresha izo mbuga batangiye kubibona.
Byatangiye kuboneka cyane ku buryo mu kwezi gushize, British Vogue yasohoye inkuru yise "Ese kugira umukunzi bisigaye biteye isoni?", yatumye abantu benshi ku mbuga nka TikTok na Instagram batangira kubaza icyo kibazo.
Muri iyo nkuru yakwiriye henshi, umwanditsi Chante Joseph avuga ko hari impinduka mu buryo abagore bafite abakunzi b’abagabo bagaragaza umubano wabo ku mbuga nkoranyambaga.
Yanditse ko abagore bashaka inyungu rusange zo kugira umukunzi, ariko batagaragaye nk’abagengwa n’abakunzi.
Joseph akomeza avuga ko kugaragaza umukunzi kenshi bishobora kugaragara nk’ibitandukira mu muco.
Ku rundi ruhande, avuga ko kugira umukunzi bitakiri ishema nk’uko byahoze, kandi bitakiri ikintu cyongera cyangwa ngo kigabanya agaciro k’umugore.
Yemeza ko impamvu abagore batifuza kwerekana abakunzi babo ku mugaragaro ari "patriarchy (ubutegetsi bushingiye ku bagabo) tubamo, n’uko bibangamira abagore."
"Abagore benshi baravuga bati, ni byiza kugira fiancé. Kugira umugabo nabyo ni byiza," niko Joseph yabwiye Radio BBC 4 mu kiganiro Woman’s Hour cyo ku wa Gatatu.
Ati: "Oya. Tugomba gusubira inyuma tukongera gusuzuma uko tubana n’abagabo muri iki gihe."
Abantu 1000 bahagaritse kunkurikira
Stephanie Yeboah, umwanditsi akaba anakora inkuru ku mbuga nkoranyambaga utuye mu majyepfo y’umujyi wa Londres, yabwiye British Vogue ko yicuza kuba yarashyize umukunzi we kuri Instagram.
Yabwiye BBC News ko yakiriye ubutumwa bwinshi cyane (DMs) ubwo yagaragazaga bwa mbere umukunzi we, aho abantu bamubwiraga ko bahagaritse kumukurikirana (unfollow) kuko batakibona ko ibyo ashyiraho bibareba cyangwa bibahuza.
Ati: "Kuri uwo munsi, nibuka ko abantu bagera ku 1,000 bahagaritse kunkurikirana."
Ariko avuga ko yumva impamvu abantu babona inkuru zijyanye n’umubano zitari ngombwa.
Ati: "Ibintu byinshi bijyanye n’umubano birasa n’ibiteye isoni, numva abantu basigaye babifata nk’ibibabangamiye kubireba."
Ku bantu bakorera amafaranga binyuze ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, kudashyira ahagaragara umukunzi mushya byaba ari ikibazo cyo kutaguma hamwe, nkuko bitangazwa na Dr Gillian Brooks, umwarimu wungirije mu bijyanye n’imyitwarire y’abakoresha imbuga nkoranyambaga muri King’s College London.
Dr Brooks asobanura ko aba bantu baba bagurisha izina ryihariye, ishusho n’uburyo bwo kubaho bwihariye.
Biba bigenewe abantu babakurikira bafite uburyo bwihariye bababonamo, iyo rero batangiye gutandukira bitera urujijo ababakurikira bakaba banabavaho.
’Sinshaka kugaragara nk’uwishingikirije ku bandi’
Ntago ari abazwi ku mbuga nkoranyambaga badashaka kuzerekanaho abakunzi babo gusa.
Milly yambitswe impeta n’umukunzi we imyaka ibaye hafi itanu, gusa nawe ku myaka 25, ahora yiganyira gushyira uwo bitegura kurushingana ku mbuga nkoranyambaga.
Asobanura ati "Sinshaka kugaragara nkuwishingikirije k’uwo dukundana, cyangwa se ko umubano wacu ariwo usobanura imyitwarire yanjye"
Yongeraho ati "Imbuga nkoranyambaga zisa nizitesha agaciro isura y’umuntu.
"Igihe ari ifoto gusa cyangwa inkuru yanjye n’umukunzi wanjye, bigenda bisa nibirambirana"
Umubano wihariye wakabaye ari ibanga.
Charlotte amaranye imyaka ibiri n’uwo bakundana. Uyu mukobwa w’imyaka 20 yahisemo kudashyira umukunzi we ku mbuga nkoranyambaga kubera impamvu zitandukanye.
Mu buryo bwihariye, avuga ko batanafitanye n’amafoto menshi bari kumwe yashyira kuri instagram. Ibirenze kuri ibi avuga ko umubano wakabaye ibanga kuruta ubushuti.
Akomeza agira ati: "Numva ko nashyize umubano wanjye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, byasa nko kuvuga ngo ’beba njye n’umubano wanjye utunganye’ nyamara, atari nako bimeze."
Undi mukobwa witwa Athera (izina ryahinduwe) nawe akunda ibanga. Uyu ufite imyaka 21 avuga ko inshuti ze nyinshi batekereza kimwe, kandi bakunze kuvuga "ijisho ribi" (evil eye) nk’impamvu yo kutagaragaza abakunzi babo.
"Ijisho ribi" ni ukwemera ko umuntu ashobora kukuroga cyangwa kukugirira nabi, akenshi biterwa n’ishyari.
Athera ati:"Ntabwo namushyira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga kugira ngo ntihazagire umuntu ugira ishyari, nubwo ryaba ritateguwe cyangwa riri mu bwonko gusa, ryaba ’ijisho ribi’ ku mubano wanjye."
Umutima uhagaze kubera gukoresha imbuga nkoranyambaga
Dr Gwendolyn Seidman, umufasha myumvire muri Michigan State University, yerekana uko abantu baganira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, mu buryo butandukanye bagenda bibanda ku nkuru z’urukundo.
Gusangiza abantu igice cy’ubuzima bwawe bwite ku mbuga nkoranyambaga bishobora gutera impungenge nk’uko Dr Gwendolyn Seidman abivuga, izo mpungenge zishingiye ku gutinya ko ibyo ushyize ku mbuga bihoraho iteka.
"Abantu ntibagishyira ibintu byinshi ku mbuga nkoranyambaga," nk’uko abibona."Igice cyabyo ni uko batangiye kumva ko ibyo bashyira hanze bizahoraho."
"Ntushobora kubikuraho burundu, bityo ugomba kwitonda mbere yo kubishyira hanze."
BBC
