Gutandukana kw’abashakanye(Divorce) ibintu bimaze gufata intera ndende ku isi hose, hari n’abantu bakora divorce inshuro zirenze imwe, cyane cyane mu bihugu bifite umuco wo gusezerana kumarana igihe runaka, ugasanga abashakanye sibo bazabona igihe bihaye kigeze. Mu Rwanda naho gutandukana kw’abashakanye bigenda byiyongera.
Hari ubushakatsi bwakozwe bugaragaza ko abenshi mu batandukanye bisanga batanezerewe kurusha uko bari bameze bakiri kumwe n’abo batandukanye, umuntu agahora yicuza ubutane kandi yarabushakaga cyane. Ikaba ariyo mpamvu Umwanditsi, akaba n’umuhanga mu by’imibanire y’abashakanye yanditse urutonde rw’ibintu by’ingenzi byo kwitondera gutekerezaho mbere yo gukora divorce nkuko tubikesha urubuga Agasaro.com
Muri ibyo harimo:
1.Amarangamutima
Umuntu utekereza divorce aba afite agahinda, uburakari, umujinya ndetse no kwiheba, nibyo rwose ari mu kuri kandi icyo atekereje ni igisubizo, ariko se icyo gisubizo nicyo mu gihe cyacyo? Ahanini icyo gitekerezo kiba kiyobowe n’amarangamutima, ikaba ariyo mpamvu abenshi usanga nyuma y’igihe gito batangira kwicuza icyo bakoze, hakaba nubwo bafata igihe bakajya bahura rwihishwa.
2. Gutekereza ku bana banyu
Abagira igitekerezo cyo gutandukana bose bihutira gutekereza ku bana babo, nta muntu ushobora kwiyumvisha uburyo divorce igira ingaruka zikomeye ku bana b’abatandukanye harimo;
• Kunanirwa kwiga kubera kugira inshingano zo mu rugo bakiro bato
Guhorana umutima w’ubwoba kubera ibyo baciyemo igihe ababyeyi bari mu bihe bibi byo gutandukana
• Gukina imikino irimo gukozanya isoni…, kuburana
3.Uburakari bukurisha umutima
Uko byagenda kose umwanzuro ahanini uturuka ku burakari, ikibabaje kurushaho nuko niyo utangiye gusobanura uburakari bwawe k’uwo mwashakanye burushaho kukurya cyane ukumva umutima ugiye kumeneka, ntibishobora kumubabaza nkuko biri kukubaho, azakomeza ubuzima bwe ajye akubona nk’ibisanzwe kandi wowe warashize imbere ndetse n’inyuma. Sibyiza rero gukoreshwa n’uburakari kuri buri mwanzuro ufata.
4.Ntukabwire abana banyu ibibi bya mugenzi wawe, Se/ Nyina
Abana mu rugo bakunda ababyeyi bombi, byashoboka ko ujya ubwira abana ibibi bya mugenzi wawe, Papa cyangwa Nyina w’abana, igihe mutangiye ibya divorce rero nicyo gihe cyo kugabanya ibyo wabwiraga abana kuko nyuma nibatangira guhura n’ingaruka ni wowe wa mbere bazatekereza nka nyirabayazana w’itandukana ryanyu kuko batigeze bumva umuvuga neza, n’ibibazo bazagira bazahora babigushyiraho. Icecekere nibakura bazamenya ukuri.
5. Nta kihutirwa/ Wibyihutisha
Ni byiza gufata igihe hihagije cyo gutekereza hagati yo gufata umwanzuro no kuwushyira mu bikorwa, iki gihe ni ingenzi cyane. Ikindi kandi ntugatekereze ngo nitumara gutandukana nzahita nkundana n’undi duhite tubana, sibwo buryo bwo kuruhuka ibibazo wari ufite, waba uyobowe n’amarangamutima ukirengagiza igihe cyo kuba wenyine witekerezaho. Nta n’ikikubwira ko wahita ubona uwo muhuza.
6. Imibonano mpuzabitsina
Ikijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu byo witaho mbere na mbere ugomba kwibuka ko niba Aatari byiza guhita wubaka urundi rugo, imibonano mpuzabitsina kandi nayo ikaba ikenewe mu buzima bwawe, uzakora iki? Akenshi abatandukanye bajya mu busambanyi, ubuhamya bwa benshi mu bakoze divorce icyo bahurizaho ni ingaruka mbi zirimo ni uburwayi no kugaragara nabi muri societe babamo, mu Rwanda cyangwa mu bindi bihugu usanga ari cyo bahurizaho.
Umwanzuro mwiza kuri iki kibazo cya divorce nuko ushaka kuyikora yajya abanza agatekereza mbere yo gutiza umurindi ibikorwa birushaho kuyikurura hagati ye na mugenzi we (uwo bashakanye), kumwanduranyaho, kwitwara nk’uwihebye, kumubwira amagambo akomeretsa kumwereka ko utakimukeneye, kwicuza ko mwabanye. Ikindi ni ugufata igihe ugasengera ibihe urimo.
